I (22F) have changed my boundaries with my partner (21M) and become more intentional about what I'm comfortable with. Reasons are for my personal growth and growing my Christian faith. I have decided and chose things for myself so there are things I don't want to do anymore with certain forms of intimacy. While my faith has influenced these decisions, I'm not trying to force my religion, beliefs, or values onto my boyfriend. These are personal choices I'm making for myself. My bf says he respects my choices and he won't leave, but from the past days since we had a that talk, I often face conversations where I feel guilty, pressured, or like I have to defend myself.
There have been times when I've said no to physical affection or intimacy, he stopped in the moment, but then brought it up again later. Sometimes I ended up giving in because I was tired of repeating myself. He sent me something related to my faith and followed it with "that's what you want, I know I don't." Maybe he wasn't trying to be hurtful, but it came across as sarcastic or resentful to me. He has also said things about how this is hard for him, how he feels like he's sacrificing himself, and how he's struggling with the changes happening in our relationship. And honestly, I get it. I know this isn't easy for him either. I'm not trying to invalidate his feelings but I don't feel like I'm being supported to the point where i have to defend myself choices or that I am the on responsible for his disappointment. At what point does expressing disappointment become guilt-tripping or pressure? And how do you tell the difference between a relationship struggling through a major change and a relationship that's becoming fundamentally incompatible?
